Chronicles of This Mama

Raising an athlete is not for the faint of heart. To start, each time I watch my kids struggle to raise to a challenge on the field my heart skips a beat or two. I’m holding my breath in the stands willing them to overcome their own limitations and trying to telepathically push them through to accomplish whatever goal is in front of them. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve screamed “it’s ok, you’ll get it next time” trying to get them to believe in themselves as much as I believe in them or sat in silence as I see them push forward only to break that silence with screams and jumps of excitement that they did it! The pride swelling in my heart and in my eyes as I pretend I am not crying I am not a crazy sport mama and it’s all part of the game. Brush it off.

I am one of those mamas that screams for every kid. I will cheer and encourage every child on that team and acknowledge when the other team outplays or outshines – because it happens. Our kids learn from watching us acknowledge those things too. It’s ok to have a bad day, a bad game, a bad play but it’s important to learn to push through it and to show up differently in the future. Change what needs to be changed and keep digging. Sports are so much more than winning and losing. There are so many lessons to learn. Humility. Passion. Dedication. Drive. Grit. Lessons in listening and breaking the barriers you put on yourself. Lessons that translate into so much as these kids grow older.

The world is always changing and, in my humble opinion, because the generations coming up after ours have so much access to so many things it’s a harsher environment. They need to know how to put in the work to succeed, to rise to challenges, to overcome defeats. One of my biggest fears in having a child who is naturally athletic is that I don’t want him to shut down when things get hard. I want him to know and understand it’s ok to lose that starting spot on a team but if he wants to play he needs to put in the work, because he can. I don’t want him to shut down and give up at the first sign of a challenge. My firstborn tends to be a bit of a perfectionist and often in sports it isn’t about being perfect, but about playing to the whistle and finishing what you’re doing. If you give up at the first slip up your opponent already has the upper hand, you just gave it to them.

I need my kids to learn not to give up and to keep pushing. Thats what sets us apart as adults in life, do we give up on the day when everything goes wrong or do we push through and restart the next day? Often times you don’t have the luxury of just shutting down and freezing. You have to push through. As parents we have to continue to show up for our families even through the exhaustion. It gets easier once we get through those seasons but it’s part of life and we need to get through it.

I have always had hesitation about finding a balance of pushing my kids beyond their limitations and sitting back to let them push themselves. I watched great athletes shut down once they got to college and the competition got harder. They were no longer the rising star on that field and without the attention and the glory they shut down, they turned to things like drinking and drugs to help cope with the fact that they never learned to push themselves. They were always the best out there and never had to push harder. I don’t want that for my kids. I want them to be challenged. I want them to know how to handle being challenged. I don’t want them to choose the easy way out and give up on themselves.

These are the things that roll in my head at night. That keeps me up and keeps me worried for my kids and their teammates. Are we doing right by them? Are we teaching them to push and fight? Are we teaching them how to be humble and empower others? Are they learning and growing? because that’s what matters. That’s why sports are crucial for families like mine. To learn all these things that can’t be taught without being in them, without experiencing those emotions that come with these challenges.

Coaches don’t get enough credit. They often donate their own time to help teach our kids these very crucial lessons in life. So to all the youth coaches – thank you. Thank you for helping push my kids to be better.